Frontmen, man.

Ok, so, I figure, what the hell, right? We did this Inspirational Robby Pullstring Doll thing, Erica, and me, and Sam, too... And, I figure... Why not do a set of phrases for a John Doll, too? Yeah? I mean, Robby does his own.....

Ugh.

Takac does his own thing so much, I doubt he'd need Rzeznik's help with it, and if my memory serves... Rzeznik once pretty much said he makes an effort NOT to say anything when Takac comes to him with a song... So, this sort of idea is REALLY ridiculous, but... Screw it, why not?

Therefore, I (proudly?) present my list of Ten Things a Rzeznik Pullstring Doll would say to Takac, in no particular order, and with no particular purpose.

1. Damn it, this is our dream, and it can't happen without you here! So... Yeah, you know.
2. You know, even when no one else seems to be... I'm always listening.
3. I *want* to come see Amungus, I really do... I promise I'll make it to the next show!
4. I wish I could be more like you sometimes. ....All outgoing... Infectuous... Everyone loves you, you know.
5. I am so... Proud of our studio. I always knew we'd make good parents. *pause* HEY, STOP GIGGLING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
6. You're right. If we could survive the guyliner phase, we CAN do anything... Though, you looked sort of handsome... Well, not handsome... You... Uhm... YOU'D STILL MAKE AN UGLY WOMAN! ...Yeah.
7. What?! You're in shape! Round is a shape.
8. Ok, I know this is gonna sound weird, but I was thinking that maybe, next time, we could sing together... Sound good?
9. I'm sorry.
10. You're the brother I never wanted, but the one I've always needed.

Well, these all sound bromance-y enough, so I think my work is done. (funny how most of these turn upon validations of worth.)

a thousand other boys could never reach you, how could I have been the one?

Sidekicks, man.

Okay, so, just like the Ten Best Goo Songs assignment... I gave my Goo friends another dumbass task. See, Erica and I were talking about Rzeznik (gee, imagine that), and we were kinda goin' on about how he's supposedly so neurotic and so hard on himself, and how he's said time and time again that writing songs, especially lyrics, is the hardest thing for him.

Well, all right, so this somehow lead to... This cutesy/stupid idea that, maybe, just maybe, Rzeznik actually has a Goo Goo Doll. And, no, not a real Goo Goo Doll, because, really, those things are weird as Hell. We meant... Like.. A little pocket-sized Takac-esque Doll that, when you pull its string, says little inspirational phrases, which Rzeznik needs in order to encourage him to finish songs for albums, like their forthcoming album, for instance. (Imagine, like if Rzeznik had a doll like Woody from Toy Story, except, it's a little Takac. After all, Takac's the glue that's held this band together for so long... He's the little sidekick-character in this bromance.)

Thus, this is to prove that I haven't forgotten this task! (In fact, I'll hopefully have a goodle ready to post on DA when I get back to H-Ville.) So, I'm gonna post my Ten Inspirational/Comforting/Bromantic/FINISH-THE-ALBUM Phrases, which a little Takac-doll might, theoretically, say, if owned by Rzeznik. (and, yes, there is some sarcasm interwoven through most of these... and a few that are semi-based off of shit actually said.)

1. "Don't give up! You won the coveted Hal David Starlight Award for Songwriting. They don't just give those away! Really!"
2. "Screw that cow! The song you're working on now will get us that Grammy! I know it!"
3. "John, man, you've gotta finish your songs. I've purposefully sung less and less on our albums to leave you and your brilliance more room!"
4. "Look, Melina already knows you love her... Maybe write about something else?"
5. [to be played in sequence after the fourth phrase] "Or, write about SOMEONE else... You know, it doesn't always have to be about a boy and a girl."
6. "Okay, seriously, you have to finish some songs... I'm having trouble with mine this time!"
7. "Thomas, Kroeger, Alexakis, Wade, Levine... They've got nothing on you!"
8. "You write the hits. It's what you do. And you do it well."
9. "The critics haven't liked us since the public has. That's just the way it is, so don't worry about them. Our fans are loyal, too, so don't worry about them either. Or Mike. Or me. Just write until you're happy. Then, I'll be happy, too."
10. "Truthfully, it pisses me off how good you are at this. Your songs reach into a heart, grab it, and don't let go. You always manage to really touch something inside. Always. And, it's just the way you are, so don't fight it. Just keep writing."

One has some of my typical sarcasm in it. Two is a reference to Rzeznik bitching about Celine Dion beating them at the Grammys, back in the day. Three is also riddled with my typical Gooey sarcasm, which means: take it with a grain of salt. Four is pretty much the same... I'm just lightly bitching about the half of LLI I didn't like, and running loose with fan-rumors that the whole album is inspired by her. Five leeches off of Four, but also references some interview where that really was said, I believe, by Takac. Six is me expressing my wishes for greater collaboration... Granted, I think it's the other way around, as of late, truth be told. Plus, it's probably some realism leaking into this. Seven is just sweetness and honesty. Pure and simple. Eight is an actual quote, for the most part. Nine is made up, but sounds like Takac-esque rationalization. Last, Ten is inspired by an actual quote of Takac's about Rzeznik's songwriting skills.

And, while we're on this subject... Granted, I don't catch every single print/audio interview they do, but... It seems like this subject, as a whole, is something they almost avoid discussing. I mean, the (kind and endearing) quotes I'm maligning for this stupid idea come from the DUTG era, as far as my memory serves. Beyond that era, I can't really recall EITHER ONE talking about the other's songwriting with any praise, or at all, for that matter. I mean, yeah, they've randomly gone on about their (gasp!) joint writing on LLI (Listen), but I think that's about it. Even when Rzeznik won that award, I don't recall Takac ever lauding him. Of course, I'm sure he did privately, but... Still. Unless it's been one big secret, or I just didn't realize Takac was there... He didn't even go to the awards presentation, nor was he (or Mike, while we're making note of this) thanked by Rzeznik in his acceptance speech.

And, yeah, they're not little 20-somethings who need the constant camaraderie anymore, but... *pause, sigh*

I guess... Whatever... It's just fun to embellish the Gooey Mythology by imagining up this stupid little scenario... And, thereby building-up their friendship, most likely beyond what it really is at this point.

That's all. (and, two Goobers got bored; it's as simple as that.... and, if any Goobers read this and wanna contribute... Just put your phrases in your comments! I'd love to read some!)

think about the tender things that we're working on